Exploring the Many Dimensions of Love and Its Impact on Our Lives

What is love? Love is the ficklest emotion. There is the love of a

parent and child, the love of siblings, the love of a friend, and the

love between romantic partners. Then there is the random person who

always says I love you when there isn't any true meaning behind it. Love

can also be the most traumatic emotion. A parent can tell you they love

you but their actions don't reflect what they say. To a child that can be

very traumatic. A child growing up thinking their parent loves them or

hopes that their parent loves them, but in reality, the child realizes

there is no love there, and it doesn't matter what they do or how they

act, that parent will never truly love that child. So, therefore the

child grows up feeling rejected and anxious in life. They just want to

feel loved and be loved by anyone. They want to love someone as much as

they need love. Unfortunately, it comes off as being needy and clingy.

Then when the other person doesn't reciprocate the same, they don't

understand why! They are thinking "I just want to give you the love I

never received as a child." "I need you to love me the same way." Love is

a hard emotion. It can be the most loving and tender, but then it can be

the most harsh and cruel. Depending on the person and context it is used.

It is the one emotion that is thrown around haphazardly. It is the one

emotion that is overly used when someone doesn't have the true emotion

behind it.

True love/soulmates/twin flames is a mysterious love. Who truly believes

in true love or a soulmate? Is there such a love, or is it love made up

by someone to sell books? This kind of love is in the eye of the

beholder. It is a love that I believe is real. I have had a few

connections with men that I never had with anyone else. Connections that

I felt in my heart, strong connections. I chose to believe they were

soulmates; they were kind and gentle, but because of my traumatic family

history, I pushed them away. My heart ached for them, and I realized it

was a lesson I needed to learn. Unfortunately, being the stubborn idiot

that I am I didn't step back and let the relationship develop over time.

I wasn't patient. "Patience is a virtue!" I became overzealous and pushed

and pushed until they walked away. I became too much for them to deal

with. I needed to learn to relax and enjoy the ride, just enjoy being in

their presence and them in mine.

I'm having to learn not to be so anxious, which is hard when you grow up

having so many people dislike you and not show you the love you deserve

and need. Being brought up in a healthy family dynamic teaches you how to

love another person. Whether that be a child, sibling, friend, or

romantic partner. That is the foundation for developing healthy

relationships, and if you didn't have that upbringing, it is hard to know

what that looks like. Instead, you develop bad habits and don't realize

that how you express your feelings for someone is unhealthy. This is a

time to step back and reflect on what happened and what you could have

done differently. It is also a good time to think about what you need

from a partner, etc. Make a list of needs and wants. Add to it or take

things away if it seems too outlandish. You need to be practical, because

the other person may have traumatic issues that they are working on or

may not even know they have. So, therefore they may not be able to show

the same to you that you desire. But, always be honest and let them know

so they can either learn and then adjust, or if they are not able or

unwilling to change, then you know it is time to step away. As they say,

if it's meant to be, they will return.

Why does love have to be so damn hard? Why can't people just say how they

feel, instead of beating around the bush? Unfortunately, when you are

someone who has had trauma in your younger life, it takes time and effort

for that person to say hey, I'm messed up. I need help with expressing my

feelings. Until they are willing to do that, they will never be able to be

there in the way you will need them to be. They need to take

accountability for their actions and feelings. Until then you will have

to live in the heartbreak until you can heal and move on with your own

life. Don't ever feel bad for not taking the time to heal. It's a process

and will take time. One day they will realize you were a good person, and

they will either make the needed change to be with you, or they will keep

living in the same shit hole of existence until they die. Sometimes

people don't see when they have something good in their life. They choose

to ignore what's in front of them instead of seeing that person for who

they are. The old saying "Don't judge a book by its cover!" I believe

that says it all. Too many people nowadays are so superficial. They

choose not to see a person for who they truly are. They choose not to

open the book and start reading to see what's on the inside. It's a

shame, really, that people choose not to take that leap. Just imagine all

the people who could be in loving, healthy relationships if they just

took that leap.

Parent/child relationships are the hardest to move on from. It's hard to

live up to a parent's expectations when that makes it obvious that they

tell you you shouldn't be their child, or they tell you you aren't their

child. It's hard on your heart and soul knowing that you aren't wanted by

one or both parents. This has been a struggle for me. Knowing my mom

preferred my cousin over me and having my biological father call me and

told me I wasn't his child. However, my mom would tell me a lot that my

cousin should have been her daughter and not me. My biological father, I

believe, told me that because he was angry with my mom, and also, my

step-monster pushed him to tell me that. So, this kind of trauma Can mess

a person up when they are trying to live their life. It also makes having

a romantic relationship a struggle. It's a shame when adults don't take

into account how this will affect their child, or they do, and they don't

care. So that's them not taking accountability for their actions. It's a

shame when parents who know they are hurting on purpose refuse to accept

what they have done to you and how much it hurts your soul. Those are the

children who spend their life trying to win that parent's approval just to

realize, it doesn't matter what you say or do you will never get their

approval. That's when you have to step to the plate and start being your

true self. Even if it goes against how you were brought up. Being, the

good kid was hard. I got tired of trying to win the approval of them.